from Noir Books

Book Three Cover Photo

Me at age thirty-five

Book 3 is Under Construction!

I’m running into stumbling blocks getting you guys the last installment of my memoirs. The thing is, memoirs deal with real people and real people have privacy rights. The last community I was involved with was sheltering child predators. That is an explosive charge. Two people are convicted sex offenders. It’s a very tricky thing to write about my more recent life when I’m living in the same area with those people.

All of my books are true stories. I don't know if I can write fiction. The part of these books that are easy for me is that I don't have to invent the events or the characters, and dialogue is often remembered. I have a unique memory, things people say stick in my head word for word, sometimes for decades, especially if what they say is personally significant to me or has an interesting turn of phrase. I’ve also memorized hundreds of songs, dozens of poems, and sometimes movie dialogue. I’ll see if film that I saw once 30 years ago and I recall lines from it verbatim. 

It’s not across-the-board. I bring shopping list to stores and keep lists of chores and tasks.

If you only knew how bad I wish my books were not true! Then I would not have to tell you about all of my endless mistakes and horrible choices or reveal the complete wreckage of my life. The writer Ericka Jong said, "write everything you don't want anyone to know" so that's exactly what I do. 

If they were not true they would be easy to publish but they are and people can identify themselves. Thy know the crimes they confessed to me or that I witnessed. Even though I change names people can still be identified by their roles. For example, my parents.

I could end up in court because I don't have proof. I don't have tape recordings and the one person whom I told everything to is no longer here to back me up (at least in the fact that I told her what was going on at the time).  

The truth is far is stranger than fiction but not always as exciting and definitely not wrapped up in a neat ending. Or a happy ending. Books are one of the things that saved my life and kept me sane, even while I was in jail. By high school, I intended to go to school for English and become a writer so I could live immersed in a world of books. I never got to do that but instead, I collected material from my own tragic life and turned it into these memoirs.

And that is why I write these books.